July 1, 2021
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There is so much information to overstimulate us online – especially introverts, empaths, and HSPs. This along with comparing yourself to the extroverts in business online can be very overwhelming. I identify as all three of the above and it can be hard to put my energy out into the world for everyone while having an internal struggle of accepting myself for who I am as an individual and dealing with my anxiety. It has gotten easier as I’ve practiced personal development, self-care, and self-acceptance and that’s why I’m excited to share this topic with you.
Our guest on the podcast today is Therapist & Coach, Jessica ‘Ruby’ Hernandez. She is a big believer in mindfulness and self-inquiry, and the practices of love & kindness, and weaves these into her work with clients. As a therapist & coach for HSP’s, Empath’s & Introverts, she guides her clients towards presence, self-awareness, and self-acceptance, with a large dose of stellar self-care.
In this episode, Ruby and I dive into her story of being passionate about helping others holistically, how to use your energy when marketing your business as an introvert, learning how to accept yourself for who you are in a world geared towards extroverts, making time for self-care and so much more.
There is one area that has always come natural for Ruby and that is her passion for the healing arts and helping people. She noticed from an early age that people were drawn to her. As she went to undergrad and graduate school for clinical psychology, Ruby was being trained as a nutritionist, western herbalist, and yoga & meditation instructor because she wanted to help people in a holistic way rather than just mentally. She knew from the get-go that the cubicle life or corporate career wasn’t something her introverted soul wanted, so she decided to become an entrepreneur to coach and provide therapy to empaths, HSPs, and introverts online where she provides one-on-one work and group coaching containers.
This allows Ruby to create her own schedule and hours, and tailor her business to meet her needs – not put them on the back burner like she would if she were in a corporate setting. She is an introvert, HSP, and empath herself, so it was a major thing for her to be aware of where her energy is, what she feels capable of doing on a daily basis, and making sure her needs are met before she can give her energy to others.
The one main thing that I love helping introverts with is marketing. So many introverts try to do marketing, launch their business, and hustle to find clients, which becomes super overwhelming and it depletes their energy. That is where I love helping introverts is with knowing that they don’t have to do all of the things because there are methods better suited for them, myself included, that work just as well.
For Ruby as an introvert, she was doing busy trying to do all of the things online like an extrovert and hated it, but knew she needed to be seen and put herself out there – an internal tug of war for her. To add to that, introverts sometimes tend to get into the mindset of being someone they aren’t when showing up online as bubbly or outgoing, but that’s not who they are. It’s true you can be bubbly for a period of time, but as Ruby says, that can fade and it’s important to know who you want to reserve that energy for and what you want to be doing with it. In her case, she wants to save this energy for her clients, not on marketing strategies that may or may not work for her.
If you don’t already know, I am not a fan of the word hustle or hustle culture, which is something that many people all over the world still thrive on in an extroverted world. There is this sense that you should always be working hard towards the next big thing, launching something new, and it can be very overstimulating for HSPs, empaths, and introverts. It can feel like, I can’t be in this world because it’s too scary, overwhelming, and overstimulating that you get sucked into other people’s energy because you’re unclear where your boundaries are. It can give you so much anxiety, and it’s important to remember that your energy, mindset, and boundaries, among other things will need your focus as an entrepreneur as well. This is an area that Ruby helps highly sensitive people, introverts, and empaths with by giving them guidance on how to manage their sensitivity, and find themselves again.
If you are feeling like you can’t make it in the entrepreneurial space as you are, then some great advice Ruby has to help you is to stop comparing yourself to extroverts. She says that this is an unnecessary cruelty. What’s really important is that you own who you are as an introvert, empath, or HSP because you only have so much energy to give to others. For Ruby, she asked herself these questions. How do I want to do that? What do I want it to look like? And then she said it’s really about cultivating the stubbornness to do it your way. There was a time in her life where family wanted her to pursue other things because the money was supposed to be better, but it wasn’t something her soul was feeling called to do. It’s truly about knowing that you don’t have to betray yourself to be successful in business and owning what you are – an introvert!
If you are truly yourself and you’re comfortable with being yourself, and doing that instead of trying to be somebody else, people are going to resonate more because they can tell whether you’re putting on a fake front or if you’re truly comfortable and just being you, especially on social media. Don’t be afraid to share your awkwardness or quirkiness because that’s genuinely who you are and people will connect with that more.
Yoga can really be a great outlet for introverts or those who feel depleted energy-wise. Depending on what style you’re practicing, if you’re a depleted introvert and you’re trying to practice hot bikram yoga, you’re probably not going to feel better afterward. The practice of coming home to your breath, breathing deeply, being present to what it feels like to be in your body in this moment, and what does your body need in this moment, and stretching into the places of your body that maybe you haven’t stretched into lately are ways that help you fill your cup back up and recharge as an introvert, especially.
You get to know yourself better on a deeper level in terms of how your body is feeling and you get a sense of what your body needs more practice with. One side of your body might be stronger than the other and that’s okay to recognize. Or it may be that you can’t do the pose you really want to do, but learning that it’s okay because you can continue to get better as you go. It can definitely build a lot of self-acceptance and it’s a great form of self-care too. Ruby is big on self-care practice and I really stress the importance of this for introverted entrepreneurs to incorporate.
Speaking of self-care, Ruby and I both agree that entrepreneurs should double down on self-care, but introverted entrepreneurs should triple down on their self-care methods. It’s key to our survival. As Ruby puts it, you can then design a way of practice that feels best for you. It can be a walk with your pets in nature around your lunch hour, which is something that I enjoy, or it can be doing a dance session like Ruby. Just know that there is no one way to do self-care. You can tailor it to fit your needs best. Find what works for you and then allow yourself to be dedicated to it. There may be days in between that you don’t get around to doing your self-care, but know that it’s okay because you can get back to it the next day. Remember to be mindful about your self-care because that is an opportunity to do something nice for yourself and in turn be able to help others better.
There were so many insights and tips that Ruby shared on this podcast episode about owning who you are along with your awkwardness and quirks, not comparing yourself to extroverts, how yoga can help you be more present with yourself, and other ways to incorporate self-care as an introvertpreneur. Don’t forget to sign-up for Ruby’s newsletter where you will also get a free meditation, follow her on social media, and check out her products and services if you are feeling called to learn more.
[1:54] Ruby’s story, her background, and what made her become a therapist and coach for empath’s, HSPs, and introverts
[5:47] The kinds of people Ruby works with and how it started as victims of domestic violence and now it also includes introverts, HSPs, and empaths
[7:38] The advice Ruby has for introverted entrepreneurs who are struggling with self-acceptance and comparing themselves to extroverts
[11:03] How yoga is great for introverts that feel depleted energy-wise
[12:44] Self-care methods and how to make time for it
[15:26] How Ruby works with clients in one-on-one and group settings
[19:58] The current favorite marketing method Ruby uses
If you enjoyed this episode, I invite you to take a screenshot and tag me on your Instagram stories @introvertcoach and tell me your biggest takeaway!
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